Online Dating Tips For Seniors
Navigating online dating websites and matchmaking services
- Online Dating Tips for Seniors: Advice for Free Senior Dating Sites. Sharon Gourlay 4 weeks ago Pending Comments Off on Online Dating Tips for Seniors: Advice for Free Senior Dating Sites 4 Views.
- Read on to discover my essential dating tips for seniors. Join Online Dating Sites. If you don’t have a profile on at least one senior dating site or app, pardon my bluntness, but you need to get with the program. Online dating is not only the most popular way for singles to meet, but it’s also the most efficient way for singles to meet.
May 19, 2020 Online senior dating can be intimidating and overwhelming, especially with the myriad of sites. To help, SeniorLiving.org conducted a study of the 10 most popular age-specific sites and determined that Our Time, with 1.5 million members as of October 2019, is superior overall; Silver Singles offers the best pricing starting at just $25 per.
Is There A Dating Site For Seniors
Hollywood star Sharon Stone’s Bumble account was blocked by the dating app last year because everyone assumed her profile had to be a fake. Though the 62-year-old blonde bombshell was let back into the hive after she proved she was the real deal, experienced online daters know there are plenty still out there who truly are too good to be true.
“Eighty percent of the men I see online misrepresent themselves in one way or another. Some do it intentionally and others do it because they are blind to themselves. They have no idea who they are,” says Lesley Palmiter, 72, a voiceover artist who has been on Match and other sites over the past dozen years.
“It is to the point where I’ve met many men who have put different profiles on different sites, and some go so far as to have different profiles even on the same site. They say they’re separated or divorced when they’re married. They also lie about their age, their height and/or their weight. They use old profile pictures from 20 years ago so they’re unrecognizable if you do meet. I’m often told by men that women do the same.”
Then when the time comes for that first coffee date or glass of wine, it’s immediately obvious that the person who claimed to be 5’10 is only 5’3. From the get-go, he or she has been marked as disingenuous and untrustworthy. So why do romance seekers do it?
“It’s simple. When there is nothing invested, there is nothing to lose. They treat it as easy come, easy go. Swipe right, swipe left. They want something for nothing,” explains professional matchmaker Elaine Saunders, the owner of Dynamic Introductions in Nashua, whose verified and extensive client roster is mostly in the 50-plus range. “The person who walks through my door is willing to make a time investment, a financial investment, an emotional investment and a spiritual investment. There is accountability. There is no accountability on the internet. That makes all the difference. My clients come to me to avoid the internet.”
Online senior dating can be intimidating and overwhelming, especially with the myriad of sites. To help, SeniorLiving.org conducted a study of the 10 most popular age-specific sites and determined that Our Time, with 1.5 million members as of October 2019, is superior overall; Silver Singles offers the best pricing starting at just $25 per month; and Senior Match is tops for active seniors. For anyone looking to connect with a partner who practices a specific faith, Christian Mingle or JDate (for Jewish people) are good resources. Plenty of Fish is free, but because of that users have to sort through plenty of scammers and fake profiles, and the other drawback is that it’s not age-limited.
“I’ve tried Match, Plenty of Fish and Our Time. It’s a lot of work. It’s like a part-time job. You’ve got to work it. Timing is everything,” says Dr. Pierre Angier, 60, a primary care physician from Wolfeboro. “My goal with online dating, and I’ve told women this right up front, is to make a friend. If it turns out to be more than that, wonderful. That takes all the pressure off. A lot of people go into this thinking that on the first date they’re going to get a diamond or get lucky. I’m all for going slow.”
The COVID-19 virus pandemic has forced people to slam on the brakes. They’re still searching and flirting online and then meeting in person, it’s just done another way now.
“When this pandemic started, I asked myself how I can capitalize on this, so I changed my profile. Now it says ‘Seeking a friend for the end of the world. Looking for a partner to make the most of life, since it might be short,’” laughs Angier. “I have gone on some dates since COVID-19 started, but in keeping with social distancing, I went with a lady for a walk on Rye Beach before they closed it. I took a bike ride with another lady and had another date to go for a neighborhood walk at the appropriate distance. It’s very different, but in a way it’s good because you avoid that awkward end-of-date question as to whether you give a kiss or shake hands. Now we don’t even do that,” says Angier. “In all of this, you have to go very slowly, and you can get to know someone better before you dive headlong into a relationship. It’s almost like an old-time, old-fashioned courtship. That’s not all bad but it does present some challenges.”
Despite the new hurdles, the old do’s and don’ts for creating an enticing online profile still apply.
“Use current and sincere pictures that convey who you think you are. Keep it light. Keep it aspirational. Keep it on the positive. Keep it open,” says Palmiter. “In their profiles, too many men say about the woman they seek, ‘She has to be this. She must do that. She will do that. She should act this way.’ That is a total turnoff. State what you’re looking for in a partnership and say what it is you can offer in return,” she says.
When it comes to dating pointers, Saunders can help, particularly for the recently widowed or divorced, people who have been out of the scene and are out of practice.
“Coaching my clients on how to date is part of the services I offer,” says Saunders. “A lot of people are confused about what to do, about what they’re doing right or what they’re doing wrong or if they should fish or cut bait with someone,” she says, adding that she only accepts clients who are stable, sincere, and relationship-seeking, whether that entails marriage or companionship.
There is rarely a standard charge for a matchmaking service as it is a private contract between individuals, but on average, the cost can range from $250 for the basics to in excess of $5,000 for VIP services. For those who have found love and marriage this way, it’s a small price to pay.
So what keeps Palmiter on the online sites with monthly charges, searching there for The One?
“I’m an optimist,” she says. “You’re never too old to find happiness. You’re never too old to fall in love.”
While many seniors are happily single, others are looking for love by entering the world of online dating.
Online dating presents a number of amazing opportunities to connect with like-minded people and potential romantic partners. Although some seniors may be intimidated by the idea of online dating, the reality is that it’s very easy get started. In fact, many people who have tried online dating can’t imagine doing it any other way!
Ready to get started? Read our online dating tips for seniors to learn about how to enter (or re-enter) the dating scene:
How to Get Started
The thing older adults must realize is that online dating is all about taking that first step. Once you begin, you can start to figure out what you like and don’t like. We recommend starting by…
- Talk to friends who have utilized online dating to get advice (including which service to use)
- Do research about different online dating sites.
- Set up your online profile and answer questions
- Get help with your profile from friends and family members if desired
- Consider a trial program with an online dating site before committing to the cost
- Review profiles and reaching out to those who you may be interested in
How to Write the Dating Site Profile
Now that you’ve tested the waters of senior online dating, time to dive in and start building your online profile. We recommend you do the following:
- Have your profile tell a story as if you were talking to a friend
- Think about the type of person you want to respond
- Don’t use too many words. Try to keep it succinct and to the point
- Don’t list what you like to do but list your passions
- Have a friend proofread your profile and use spellcheck
- Review your profile with friends to see if you are projecting your true self
How to Take a Profile Picture
Arguably the most important part of the dating profile is the picture. It’s what a potential partner will see before deciding if they want to click on your profile and learn more. While this may make it seem like you need to take the perfect profile picture, the truth is it’s very simple to snap a photo that gets attention. We recommend the following:
- Don’t use a selfie. Instead, try to have someone else take your picture. And don’t forget to smile
- Look Natural and Age Appropriate. For instance, while it might seem like a good idea, resist the urge to use a camera filter that removes your wrinkles
- Don’t have anyone else in your profile picture. Maybe this seems obvious, but surprisingly many seniors violate this online dating rule
Next Steps
Our next batch of advice for seniors interested in online dating considers what happens once you’ve found a potential match. This is where things get really fun and you start to explore how compatible you are with your online matches. We recommend….
- Be yourself when responding to interested individuals
- Ask your matches about their hobbies and their reasons for wanting to meet you
- Write a genuine and honest response to all messages
- Ask friends’ advice before responding to messages
- Trust your instinct and not settling if you feel like someone isn’t a good match
- Be realistic about expectations
- Don’t give up if you don’t find someone right away
- Talk to individuals on the phone and having numerous conversations before meeting
- Don’t give out too much personal information on phone call. At least not until you feel comfortable doing so
- Don’t be discouraged if the other person doesn’t schedule a date on first call
The Actual Date
Now that you’ve put in the work, followed our senior online dating tips, and did your research, you’re ready for the date. Understandably, you may be a bit nervous. Here’s our advice for how to have the most fun and rewarding dating experience possible:
- Agree on a place to meet
- Let a friend know where you are having your date
- Go by yourself to meet your date
- Acknowledge that dating is difficult and will often contribute to anxiety
- Remember to have fun!
Online dating is one way to meet new people. And while this article focuses on online dating tips for seniors, obviously there are many different ways to meet others. For example, seniors who move to independent living retirement communities are exposed to many new opportunities to meet people their age and pursue romantic, as well as platonic relationships.
Dating is both exciting and challenging for seniors. But it is important to not give up. And remember to continue to socialize with your friends and family and not put all of your efforts into dating. Most important of all is to give yourself credit for undertaking this new chapter in your life.
Online Dating Tips For Seniors 50
We at the Abramson Center pride ourselves on more than 150 years of care and research on senior health and well-being.